The epitaph

Four feet by six feet

I was lowered

Encased in a deluxe coffin

Hands folded

Palms touching in grave piety

A fact which made my lips quiver merrily

My mourners had a great time mouthing
eulogies n heaping praises on my departed soul

I had a stitch in my side from laughter

Hearing their rhetoric

As alive I had been  ornery and full of bile
With no good word for anyone

A chronic complainer and an incorrigible

hypochondriac who thrived on making

Everyone’s life miserable and

misery  so loves company!!

I was a firm believer in that and ensured

that all my near n dear ones did not

have any fun at my expense

My only saving grace was my

massive wealth to which I had

clung  like a true miser doling  out

pennies only when absolutely required
and now as a final act of adding insult to injury
I had played a final trick on my hopeful kin

I had left all my wealth

To my butler with strict instructions

To finance an orphanage in my name

So that all those who crossed
those portals blessed my departed soul

Whilst my relatives were left sucking air!!

And my epitaph read
‘he lived and died on his own terms’!!!

 Wit is the epitaph of an emotion.
Friedrich Nietzsche
1844-1900, German Philosopher

At last God caught his eye.
Harry Secombe