on cords and rejections

Often our lives are either generously or sparsely dotted with rejection slips
and one learns to swallow these bitter pills with as much non droopy jaw as one
can superhumanly muster. I am no exception but instead of letting it get me down,
I got angry and stubbornly propelled self to get a better job steaming ahead on
a “will show them” train.   It worked in my case 99% of the time.

The cords that are hard to severe are “bonds of maternal love” no matter how
spiritually detached one gets – these phantom umbilical cords haunt nevertheless.
And even here the ones that softly tiptoe into the subconscious and often propagate
dreams are the embryos that first honor your womb and then cruelly reject via
miscarriages. Such rejections are hard to bear as one is left with a lifetime of
wondering  “what if” the  baby had been full term flooding life with so much love
and joy and not dashed hopes of a stricken maternal heart.  Such rejections are
truly hard to bear. In my case I’ve always had an immense love for my beloved
baby Krishna that went a long way to healing this twice “rejected” wounded heart.
~
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