Flawed

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Flawed

Today as I submerge
Myself in your essence
Your aura soothes
My disconcerting
Discomfitures~

Partition* and hard knocks
Early in life made you
Mere slip of a girl
Mother to three
Younger siblings~

Born with innate
Grace and quietude
You carried on unfazed,
Loving, accepting bad,
Good with aplomb~

Seeing people take
Advantage of you
Riled us no end
Made us rather
Angry ~

Now upon reflection
Your unruffled spirit
Actually had the upper-
Hand all along and
I get it ~

This factor however later
Made me wary and tad edgy,
Yet your coded life juices
Rippled so strongly inside
That I was more you than me ~

Still coddled as I was
Being the youngest
And quite rebellious
I was a weak sapling that
Needed your strong wall~

You passed on worrying
About me and somehow
Still hover solicitously
On my shoulder as my
Guardian angel

Ma, parenting by me
Was at best a botched affair
Boxed as I was in a vice like
Grip, my suffocating spirit
Bided time entombed inside

Mercifully the end result
Of my flawed parenting
Your grandson is a mix
Of irreverence and
Reverence equally

We are more distant
Than close and I’ve come
To terms with it, finally but do
Know, our love tides strongly
In hearts’ sub terrain recesses

Ma, I love you and miss
You everyday and pray
That when my end is near
I have your grit and grace, depart 
All squared, with a clean slate ~
~
*Partition: on August 15th 1947 India was partitioned
 into India and Pakistan by the departing British Viceroy

 

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