Archive for August 2017:

coming undone

there is
a certain beauty
in coming apart
when you’re at the edge
and go over
you’re never quite the same
what went over
what returned
are different
and as the knife
twists turns
on other side of heartbreak
the shiny patina
overwhelming grief
magic wands’ everything
you see ….experience…
feelings have newer nuances
pain exquisitely reshaping
the depth
in your
and m’dear
may or may not
beget you
you went
over the edge
and that’s
for you
in this

if only

If only
I could chisel
Letters, vowel(ing)
Form fitted

Pain radiates
in waves
Transforming into a banshee
Flounder, floundering
In final throes

Is love’s labor
enforced by habit
done by rote controlled
by mind’s remote

emoting bonhomie
twenty-four –seven
is fast becoming hard nut
to crack as crumbling structure
glassily eye- needles

over matter
matter over mind
wondering who will succeed
in getting upper hand


Journaling…the healer

Yesterday I saw the Hindi movie Shirdi Sai Baba with Sudhir Dalvi once again and saw how Baba absorbed and transferred all the pain and sickness onto his own frail person … It immediately reminded me of our Dajiba who came into our lives when I was merely five six years old … he was godsend to complement our otherworldly mom …I firmly believe…
Dajiba, claimed that divinity manifested in his body with such strength that he could cure with his vibrant touch on forehead. Usually after an hour of prayer to his Divine Power he was ready for healing …How many of the gathered throngs he cured is anybody’s guess as I’ve seen x-rays change from bad to crystal clear after his healing sessions…..
Dajiba transferred upon his slender self my numerous childhood fevers and nosebleeds that I was stricken with due to poor health bad tonsils etc.. He declared that he was stronger than me and could weather them fine. I never questioned it & ran off to play while he writhed in pain for a good while as mom plied him with numerous cups of ginger tea cookies etc… Later it was impressed upon me by a family elder that I should have borne this “karma” myself and not allowed another to physically suffer on my behalf. …understanding that I stopped Dajiba from healing me henceforth…
He exited from our lives when mom left us… . It’d created an abyss like void in my life especially as both my siblings were already married … now dad and myself were by ourselves ….In retrospect come to think of it- maybe mom and Dajiba knew one another from previous lives – Dajiba was a god gifted shaman, a witch doctor or a Christian divine healer with a unique healing touch …. hence this correlation with Sai Baba even though Dajiba was no divine reincarnation like Shirdi Sai Baba…
..Healing hands…
Soft feathery strokes Dancing in air Soothing calming Sucking pain Undulating endlessly Hands mesmerizing Rhythmically in motion Arms cocooning Embracing bracing Intermittently crooning Exuding grace Quietening mind Relaxing stricken Absorbing grief …Healing energy waves Encircle, succor Sick in body, mind Pain slowly dissipates Gradually evaporating healing energy enters Filling void Soft feathery strokes Dancing in air.. Soothing calming Sucking all pain Undulating endlessly Hands mesmerizing Rhythmically in motion
Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity. – Hippocrates
With the gift of listening comes the gift of healing…. Catherine de Hueck
Sickness & healing are in every heart; death & deliverance in every hand ~O.Scott Card (1951), Speaker for the Dead
image : google


“Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.”
~ Albert Camus

as I do
it’s easy to fall
in love with Autumn
trees in disarray
begin publicly disrobing
in pallid shades of greens
ochres, chartreuse,
deep puce, vermilions
and golden …..
in riotous showers
carpeting in an all out display
of kissing the very ground
they stand

almost naked
branches boughs
sturdy and brown
proudly gleam
in the sun
as nature
oiled nubile


image: Prospect Park, Brooklyn NY via google


…days melt like ice cubes in my hot mouth as puffed cheeks blow out stale breath in staccato moves… things that move me are seen with heart … mind always taking back seat…..
the patterns made by gawky foal like dawn’s rays hitting net curtains patterning our parquet floors … all that is fleeting and exquisite makes my day …wisps of steam escaping tea kettle painfully whistling my name … and finally that perfect cup of tea with biscuit creating a spool of harmony…

Lisbon, Portugal


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