Archive for the year 2017:

Let me be..

 

let me be
THE confusion
in your life
..

let me be
your sole
joyful noise
..

let me be
that je ne sais quoi
annoyingly elusive
..

let me be that curling
steam rising out of your
morning Java cup
..

let me be
that last thought
knocking your head
..

Let me be
that hazy form
in your eyes
..

let me be
that smacking taste
on your lips
..

let me be
that tantalizing fragrance
wafting in your orbit
..

let me be
that velcro ditty
ringing in your ears
..

let me be
THE only confusion
in your life
..

Let me be
the love of your life
as you’re mine!
..
image: Pinterest

bruised

you silly one
you are simply an organ
crazily beating
often missing beats
going out of sync

go on head
laugh at me
yet love is
what keeps
me going
..
granted
you are overly
lathered by love
but tis both your saving
grace and downfall
..
I know ‘cos when I
love..I give it my all
taking a leap
of faith diving
headlong

see where it’s gotten
you ..sore of heart ..bruised?
concede ..consult me first
before you go into further forays
driven by foolish rushes
..
uh huh…not happening
so what if am tad hurt
licking bloody wounds..it’ll
heal …but this heart will
never ever come to heel !
..
Go on then..be hoist
on petard of your own making
henceforth never come crying to me
when bruised ..cold shouldered..know
world is not what your heart feels
..
fine… agreed
let me love, fail, love again
get mauled .. tis a reward in itself
my love rivers at will and fear
of hurts will never cause it’s still
..
let’s part in peace
residing as we do in same beat up
body..you worry over your own topper
I’ll nurse and console myself by myself
solely recalling exhilarating peaks
..

image: google

union

tightly hugging self with both arms
i invoke those moments of sheer
bliss of oneness

ingesting vibes from impeccably
enunciated mantras, devotional
songs I recapture buoyancy

gripping this manna with both hands
I anoint myself awash in dawn’s
light, lightened in spirit

inebriated joy is never far …tis simply
a concerted conjure ..loss of self in surrender
..an effulgent diminish..from separation to unity

cicada’s cry

In the cicada’s cry
No sign can foretell
How soon it must die.
— Matsuo Bash?

walking on pavements
head usually looks down
more than upwards ..mindful
about stepping on life underfoot
tis so easy to snuff out life
yet impossible
to resurrect taken……
..
albeit heavy in weight, feet tread
daintily on cobblestones ..as earth
too can get bruised when stomped
upon… thus I live and shut eyes
at day’s passing … perchance
to dream of gentler normal life
where “word” held sway
and lies were just that never
alternate facts ..am simple minded
that way

Journaling…mind drips

mind is such a trickster … is into playing games big time…on daily basis:
Keying into day’s ignition slot …I begin with genuine enthusiasm…And then slowly it whittles away….Chipped by a body frayed at extremities, fickle mind constantly dealing with changeling moods …..whattodo…….
…..what the mirror shows and tells and what I choose to perceive depends upon my degree of “self delusion” in acceptances that can change day to day … depending on how much of real is okay for day to day consumption..
..grip
opening palms and staring at an alarmingly lengthy life line I will it to shorten itself with alacrity… ringing words rain on mind’s cobblestones as predicted by an old monk six plus decades ago during gentler times in Bombay of yore … that I shall live up to a ripe old age of 96 that fills me with such horror! I continue pleading to my beloved to take me away NOW..
…..my niece “Whatsapped” me old family photos of my loved ones ..thus hurling me down memory lanes once again..spent a pleasant couple of hours reliving those “shiny” times ..some faces invoked sweet-sour-tart feelings due to their behavior when alive and children can be unforgiving …
…Dream from last night
I won a grand prize of twenty thousand dollars in spelling bee as a grand prize… when I received the check in my hot little palm I actually felt nothing… the feeling (as in non-feeling) was actually quite liberating…this late in the game … my serenity stays intact no matter what .. hence I still feel like a winner upon waking up ..palms empty yet full to brim cupping my soul as water in them always mindful not to drip or trip… still have along way to go in mending and amending …

Journaling..

10.52p.m. London, England June 14, 2017
..
One hour of deep sleep was enough for my tired beat up body and tad worried ..tinted topper it seems…. we’d hastily spruced up for group meeting followed by dinner at our hotel and I came away with lots of mind fodder..

Firstly re: our commute from Heathrow to High Street Kensington station via the famous London Tube ..that was quite an adventure in itself… beginning at airport with a helpful overseas customer support guy hailing from Goa, India and next upon our queries from a ‘dot on forehead’ Tamil gentleman whom Ganesh had quickly engaged for directions in Tamil his mother tongue, to an African gentleman from Sierra Leone who guided us most accurately in the Tube to an Australian couple who went out of the way to carry Ganesh’s heavy checked suitcase ensuring we caught the correct connecting Green Line train and once that was boarded another Good Samaritan in form of a lovely Brit lady rendered a final leg up two flights of steps with Ganesh suitcase with lots of smiles and good wishes…the annoyance at my misplaced luggage had simply vanished thereafter
..
We had enjoyed delicious piping hot coffee with a sweet chocolate roll at Cafe Negro inside the train station run by two Italian brothers who were from the beautiful picturesque village of Positano which we’d just visited during Rome, Sorrento and Sicily trip …they were delighted to learn of it and even joked if we’d met the Corleone Godfather family while in Taormina Sicily
..
Now on to our dinner conversation: being a chatterbox I engaged all at our table which included our Scottish bus driver named Gareth and Sue our tour director. At Heathrow we’d learnt about building fire in London this morning etc. and had been quite saddened by the news..apparently Gareth had met a couple of devastated ladies who’d lost everything in this fire in the hotel lobby weeping profusely as city of London had provided room and board to them and our hotel was one of many selected by the city…Gareth had then said “so much can happen in the blink of an eye” and we’d all agreed ..then he said he’d quickly called home and asked that his little boy be given lots of extra hugs as due to the nature of his job he doesn’t get to see his kid as often as he’d like to…that is why it is very important to share our true feelings with loved ones and not shy away …also I realized I was really feigning more irritation than what I was actually feeling…detachment of sorts can be quite liberating..

We’d joked a lot as well with everyone sharing their funny tales which included a lady who calls herself Betty Boop ..she too has lost her luggage like me…Sue the tour director was talking about Liverpool and I asked her why doesn’t England have a Kidneypool ? She and Gareth were taken aback and had said they’ll get an answer for me soon…meanwhile one of the ladies at our table had chimed in “probably because we have two kidneys but only one liver..I’d responded ..we can donate one kidney, save a life and still lead a normal life…that finally silenced all….

..
More later…
..

June 12, 2017

..

Late last evening our beloved Chitra came by to bid us goodbye in person …walking from her home which is at quite an exhausting distance to ours… fueled by love no doubt …it was “concerning” admixed with endearing for me…she is such a trooper and Oh so loving ! … I continuously thank god for her entry into my “second” life..
meanwhile Ganesh continues losing weight and looking very trim as Fat rolls off his body..I watch this happen in awe as I bite into another delicious morsel of food… the more he loses the more I feed my face out of sheer contrariness !
I cannot figure why am built this way..defying my own good senses ! yikes!
..
this morning as is my won’t I began hearing recorded soulful chants and “shabd kirtan” **on our TV DVR and as I watched between sips of cardamom tea.. I noticed the audience for the first time ….
… as I curiously watched I saw one devotee silently weeping profusely ..wiping falling tears continuously .. it was such a private moment of grief and I felt as if I was encroaching….
… behind her was another devotee with eyes closed lost in the otherworldly joy of it all..
..next to her was a lady mumbling fervent pleas that could be clearly seen ..
and another was simply singing along knowing the song (shabd)
..quite a few of the congregation had lost themselves getting fully immersed
in a one to one with the Maker..
..I realized I could identify with all of them as I too have traversed this journey from tears to serenity
..it was quite sobering and calmed my tea perked mind
..
suddenly I was awash in serenity
a tweaked mind can do wonders ..…
peace and out
..
*** Gurbani ( essence of Guru Granth Saheb – holy book of the Sikh religion) is explained in form of Shabad Kirtan, which is sung by Kirtani or Raagees.
June 10, 2017

Lost Tip
..
tip
..
I look at my kitchen knife and wonder when, how it lost it’s tip ..horror of horrors ..did it enter our bellies via some succulent dish? To date as all is well in our little world and time has stayed mum, I too will stop worrying about it…
..
Tipping point came in mind and how little things make all the difference… many people over the years have approached me on Facebook erroneously believing me to be a “connector” who could tip (trick) people into buying whatever they are peddling ..I shy away from such people as am no meddler ..merely a peddler of giggles and cheeriness depending upon my mood which is usually up beat …happened to me yesterday too! I unfriended this person within the hour of friending !


As far as tipping goes for food delivery or eating out and other services like massages, car service etc….I can safely say I am a generous tipper but by no means “a gone overboard kind of person”

..
as we are talking about tips: life reveals itself as a proverbial tip of an iceberg and when subsequent events unfold ..only then we realize true depth and extent of it’s rippling effect..

these days am trying to mend whatever was broken by me either with intent or unknowingly … it is never easy to forgive and forget
..

am merely trying to tip the scales in my favor for when I do make my exit !

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