Archive for August 2015:

First autumn morning

Mother and Child by Renoir

~
First autumn morning
the mirror I stare into
shows my father’s face.
— Murakami Kijo
~
only if such were the case
I’d gladly love my everyday face
I see other genetic strains
tainting, taunting sans retrace
humbling enough to make me stumble
out away from those jeering chromosomes
such is the dichotomy of love
you love and hate, hate and love
those hands that molded you
with gentle, rough harsh intent
even as you reached out,
strained to get close to that incredibly gentle
healing warmth of those that truly
loved and “borned” you
such is the paradox
of my face
~

image is from internet

corridors

image

image is from internet
~
Corridors

lazily snake
Eliciting

wonder
Exciting

curiosity

~

state of mind

image

in a state
of mind
sans restrictive
artifices
living moment
to moment
as is
free as air
spirit wandering
at will
mind speaking
stuff as is
unvarnished
never glossed
over, overly
not needed
carefully lifting
with mind’s
tweezers
~ thoughts
~ nuances
~ feelings
~ emotions
fallen
in the
in-between
silences
synapses
crevices
~
life saving
such
pauses
swollen
to bursting
freeing them ~
releasing
into the elements
the fallen
thoughts, nuances, feelings, emotions
watching them spread wings
to fly away
finally
freed
~

Memory’s Delight

image

Once
Overly eager feet
Today, step up
To plate, carefully ~
Zest continues running
Full tilt, eagerly spilling
Dashing forward impulsively
Heeding memories’
allures

Body
However
Is another matter
slowed by marauding
Time’s thief game fully
Attempting to match
Pace for pace
Stride
for
stride

Beyond childhood’s
Doorways, thresholds
Lie views that’d enchanted
Childish eyes beyond
Wildest imagination
Impatiently now
Heart in cahoots
With mind, coerces
Slowed body
To keep time

And then
huffing, puffing
Pinnacle
Reached
Mind – exhilarated
Heart – palpitating
Body – beaten
NOT
Bowed
Ear to ear
Beaming!
~

portals

image

mage is via Kolory Indii
~
Portals
” she does not know how to give back what she has taken “. – Caitlyn Siehl
Some words burn a trail, make you fall into reveries replete with remorse and guilt.
Speaking for myself, I’ve hurled hurtful salvoes containing choice epithets in childhood mostly in self defense. Other times, as a grown up, perhaps out of thoughtlessness due to an overly impulsive nature. 97% of the time it would’ve been unintentional. 3% honestly speaking must’ve been with intent to shrivel my victims with self perceived brilliant, biting repartee.
Context is important and generally speaking I am not hurtful by nature unless goaded with back to wall.
Circumstances being what they are – just as ocean waves are constantly eroding rocks but hugging beaches without giving up – its a dichotomy of emotions, in this case of the ocean.
Us humans are like this too. Those we love, we often take for granted, perhaps hurt without meaning to, all the while loving too
Question is how to make reparation, heal what got scarred ? Firmly believing in reincarnation – when old scars haunt dreams I often wonder about those culprits who’ve since crossed over – who must now be in turbulent teen years – do they toss and turn in their sleep, cluelessly?
Do they visit psychotherapists – hypnotherapists ? Do they ever repair damage done in previous birth and become whole again. More importantly, when will old hurts cease haunting my dreams?

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