catharsis

these days
mind processes
hand dealt
by life solely
calling spade
spade
..
you unleashed
your frustration
at unfair hand
dealt by life
on my innocent
head that was
..
so ill-equipped
being constantly
lost in clouds
folded cozily
inside juicy
books
..
my brown cheeks
still redden
in these ripe years
in retrospect ..feeling
more outraged than smarting
at sting of contact
..
I try so hard
to forgive being
a work in progress
but how do I tackle
forty-five years of insomnia
your ultimate Damocles gift
..
you’d vowed to carry
me away from home
leaving me far far away
from where I could never
return and gullible me never
shut eyes for 45 years
..
I take scales
out of my quiver
honestly weighing
all the good and harm
meted and come away
disquieted ..failing to forgive
..
you’ve been gone
many years
I do miss you
as most relationships
are complicated: an admix
of bitter Neem sweet mango
,,
I console myself saying maybe your
harshness had stiffened my spine
a contrary bookworm wild child
making me a strong person
that I now am.. but why does
it still bewilder and hurt ?
I want to square
away all my accounts
owing nothing to anyone
yet feelings and emotions
are hard to oust when they
indelibly scar heart
..
I haven’t given up yet !
..

Comments

2 Comments for: “catharsis”

  1. So strong and beautiful, the scars, and insights…

    Submitted by Phibby on June 8th, 2017 4:50 pm
  2. thank you Phibby xo

    Submitted by Bina Gupta on June 25th, 2017 7:14 am

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