Last Sunday whilst watching baseball the TV ad had grabbed me. “Mega Millions jackpot is now 135 million dollars!! MY mouth salivated and I scrambled to buy yet another ticket!! One hundred thirty five million could see me through many years and wild dreams. I wanted to win badly.

Everyone had left. I too forced myself to weave my way home. Ten lottery tickets burnt a hole in my pocket heated by raging frustrated fires. Suddenly my boozy weaving feet hit a can and I toppled over a warm body!! My bleary eyes saw me
astride a sexy siren with red hair and huge emerald chip eyes. She was drunk as a skunk. Her tiny purse had regurgitated on the street a lipstick, gold pocket comb, car keys, green filled wallet and

Next morning with morning coffee I compared the lottery results. Bust. I emptied my pockets and remembered the lady’s purse. Just to ensure I did not dream her, I put my hand in my coat pocket. No purse but I found another lottery ticket. I brought that to the table and checked the numbers!! My heart stopped- this ticket had hit the jackpot!
I was swimming in someone else’s green beans!

She came into her own after many a blood shed.  The quiet streets became her stomping grounds.  Anyone vunerable she found,  she overcame, cannibalized. Slowly her tentacles spread everywhere.  Her victims felt like death warmed up.   

The hush could be sliced with a knife!  Everyone watched with bated breath.  After extensive testing a lethal injection had been prepared with no side effects.  Specialists had gathered to watch.   

“My rule is over”. 

Headlines blared.  Medical breakthrough.  Aids vaccine found.

The Pick Up

 She sat twirling a margarita at the bar!   She licked salt off the rim and wished she could lick the salt off her wounds as well.  His harsh words had cut grievously and she cringed within. Five years of togetherness, a washout.

His tap on shoulder took her by surprise.  She looked into stranger’s deep mesmerizing eyes and fell headlong.  They left in his well appointed black sedan.

After a night of intense love making they fell into a deep sleep.

When she woke up, she found herself in a castle lying next to a coffin.

Mirror showed elongated incisors in her mouth and pierce marks on neck, she fainted.

**  **

picture from the internet! 

© binagupta., all rights reserved.

City Slickers

Four adventure bitten city slickers boarded a sightseeing chopper to get a closer view of the Grand Canyon.

Newly minted pilot came too close to the craggy rocks and crashed the chopper.

The four hauled themselves off precarious treetop overhanging and descended on an outcrop ledge passing out.

When they came to, they found themselves in a parallel world, a millennium ahead.  The resident robots tended, mended and tested these human dinosaurs. Then put them to sleep.

The four woke up on top of the Grand Canyon with Park Rangers hovering solicitously.

They felt themselves and found nary a scratch.  All four missed the  minute chips implanted in their brains.

picture are from the internet

have been to Grand Canyon five times in all and it is fascinating!

http://www.binaguptapoetry.com/victors-dream-part-one-1108.htm

 
Amu was very upset.  Her beloved son Victor had lost his mind!  “It was that cursed lottery!  How I wish Vic had not accepted that free ticket from Sen Dada.  How am I going to manage the house all by myself now?”  Her heart sank.  Then she decided that the only way to make her son well was to get rid of the prize money.  In her eyes her son’s life and sanity was priceless.
 
Sen Dada was fuming.   For the umpteenth time he kicked himself for giving away the lucky ticket.  Then he decided that as Vicky had lost his mind, he could con Amu into splitting the fifty lakhs saying it was supposed to be equal shares as a shoe polish did not cost twenty rupees.  Once he had brainwashed himself that he was justified in duping Amu, he hastily bought a box of (sweet ricotta cheese balls) “rosgullas” for the family and quickly left for Victor’s house.

Amu hurriedly pulled out the offending fifty lakhs from under the bed and tied them up in red tablecloth which she had newly sewed from cloth remnants.  The money was wrapped in old newspaper and was now a snug square package in red.  After a quick bath, she left for Kalibari(temple) leaving Victor in the care of the younger brothers.

Sen Dada reached the house and with a great flourish gifted the sweets to the boys.  Then he asked about Amu’s whereabouts.  Upon finding out that she had left for the Kalibari, he ran out after her.  He needed to catch her before she entered the temple.  The chase was on.
It was morning “puja” (prayer) time and the temple was full.  Amu quietly waited in line patiently pleading all the time to the Goddess to take the money and return her son’s sanity.  She reached the priest and bowed low to receive blessing.  The crowd suddenly surged and Amu tripped and fell inside the inner sanctorum and the red packet fell at the feet of the Goddess.  Amu straightened up and quietly left chanting Goddess mantras.  The package lay unnoticed as it was inadvertently pushed behind the deity by the priest whilst performing rituals.

The local doctor had given a sedative to calm Victor and he was lying in deep sleep.  Yogi and Jay the younger brothers had secured jobs in different banks as trainees and their lot had already changed for the better.  Their hard work had paid off. 
 
 
The sun was shining brightly and Victor got up and stretched.  Suddenly he looked at the clock and jumped up shouting Amu!
He was behaving normally and was hurrying with morning ablutions and chores so that he could open his shop on time. Amu was delighted!  Goddess Kali had heeded her prayers and given back her old son.
 

Next morning the priest did the abhishekham (bath) of the Goddess with his usual fanfare and rituals.  Lots of water mixed with Gangajal (sacred river Ganges water) and milk etc. were poured over the deity and then the Goddess was anointed with red sindoor(color) and sandal paste and dressed in gold jewelry and silk sari.  The Goddess was ready for morning “darshan” viewing.
The red bundle of money got a thorough soaking and the money became useless pulp.
Man proposes God disposes

Certain event triggerd a whole set of memories and
 I suddenly recalled my own brush with a v. persistent LoveStruckRomeo (LSR).
This happened 30 years ago approx.  I was working in International Operations at a Bank and was about give or take seven months pregnant.  At that time, my hubby had to go to Egypt for some project work urgently that he could not postpone.  It so happened that the day he left for the land of Nile, an Egyptian male made an entry into my life by way of a bank officer in training.
  He was quite personable and okay sort of a person but somehow after meeting me a couple of times he got hung up on me!
At first I thought it was my imagination and I even asked my colleagues at work, but they too assured me that it did appear like a case of loveria!!!
This Egyptian Tut was in fact always lurking about in my environ ready to catch my eye.  I was quite mystified that here I was like a little baby elephant with a huge stomach wondering what this lovestuckromeo saw in me.  He was always underfoot with a rose in hand every day, jumping to open doors etc. To avoid him or hide , the office folks took to alerting me via the doorman or mail clerk or the front desk secretary would call my extn. To update me on his whereabouts  so that I could hide myself or duck in another office.

He would sing (songs) chansons in French which he spoke fluently, or recite poetry etc. and I was a bit embarrassed by all this attn from this Egyptian Tut.  I was in fact getting a bit frantic but did not wish to make any trouble for him job wise.  The irony of the situation was that possibly my hubby was enjoying dinner and belly dancing at some exotic Egyptian restaurant with all manner of exotic Arabian dancers hovering over him and crooning “Maiyya Maiyya” in Arabic  and here at home a young Egyptian male was in hot pursuit of me.

Since then I have never met or heard of any man being attracted or having a fetish for pregnant women.
To get my mind off my LSR woes, my friends at work bought tickets for dinner and a show at a real fancy dinner- dance place and persuaded me to come along as well. I did not need too much coaxing as I was at a loose end most evenings and so went along.  The dinner was superb and then the show started.  I was in for a real shock and a treat.  This was the year 1979 that I am talking about.  The show was of male go-go dancers and my eyes simply popped out of my sockets. At first I was a bit embarrassed but after a glass of wine, I kind of mellowed out and began to enjoy myself- sort of going with the flow.  Of course all the firengi gals were having a blast and dancing around and whistling etc…At all the eye candy with six to eight pack abs on display and lots n lots of hip movements to boot.

 In my mind, I kind of liked the idea of this role reversal-as usually we see exotic girls doing pole dancing and other stuff but here it was a bunch of young muscular guys.  It was an eye-opener for me  and I also wondered a bit guiltily if the baby knew what was going on as usually I did my ohm chanting  and other religious stuff to impart good thoughts etc to the baby and this was a real extreme opposite and way out stuff for me. Also I felt a whole spectrum of emotions- a bit of shock, a bit of fear,
a bit of guilty pleasure all rolled into one with my pulse racing as never before!!

Luckily after a couple of months my LSR was transferred to another branch and my hubby had returned home safely and all was well in my little world.

picture from internet  

Fuming In the Doghouse!

I considered myself the smartest man in the world.  I had it all! I was eating my cake and having it too! How many men can boast this claim?  My drop dead good looks, flat abs and fair skin had women swooning over me like butterflies over a flower. 
Youngest of four brothers, born with a silver spoon in mouth, a silver tongue, I had the best of everything.  Dad was in IFS and also came from generations of rich landowners of Punjab.  We had mansions in the Capital city Delhi and in the green belt.  Living overseas and mainly in Europe got me a well rounded education and I became fluent in most European languages.  This skill I put to good use in our export business of basmati rice mainly and other spices.  I enjoyed a good time and had a penchant for beautiful women.  Resultantly, I soon acquired a German wife, a Parisian wife and a British wife as well.  My mother had promised my alliance to a family friend n thus I ended up with an Indian wife also. 

I was in seventh heaven.  I juggled between these wives quite well and had full creature comforts in all my four homes.  The offshoot of these ties was I ended up with a couple of kids from each wife! I became a father of eight kids!  Yet not one wife knew about the existence of the other,all were happily settled in domestic bliss.  They never suspected my quadruple life!
How did I land in doghouse you may ask?  It was a freaky Friday at that!

Well, it happened thus:  My travel agent in Delhi had booked us in a five star hotel as my German wife had insisted on accompanying me to India. She wanted to see my wonderful country.  After denying for many years I couldn’t say no and reluctantly agreed.  In the meantime, my British and Parisian wives of their own will, decided to visit India  as it was school holiday time and the kids were eager to explore and know their dad’s country.  Respecting my strict instructions to never contact me during my official business trips, they did not inform me about their arrival. 
After hurriedly meeting my Punjabi family, I quietly returned to the hotel without my German frau n kids being any the wiser.  Next morning we were slated to visit the Qutb Minar and Mehrauli area in Delhi.  We started early with a guide nd as we stood admiring the Ashoka pillar  suddenly I heard some kids running towards me with cries of joy.  They were my British and French kids!! Oh my God- I wished the earth would open up n swallow me! Now the fat was really in the fire.  I had six kids calling me dad and the women were screaming and almost in blows over me.  Hastily I calmed them and told them that I would explain it all.  I decided to make a clean breast of it and invited the whole gang to my Delhi mansion so that they could meet my Punjabi family.
I have to stop here as THERE WAS TOTAL PANDEMONIUM with my Punjabi wife wailing and the Europeans fighting like fish mongers.  It was a mess.  My quadruple life was in shambles.  I slunk out quietly and recuperated at a local bar with a couple of my childhood cronies.  I was in the doghouse for sure.

My mind had stopped working for once!
PS: this is based upon a real Punjabi sikh(Indian) who juggled his European wives successfully- do not know how his story ended in real life (approx. met him in Bombay circa 1968-69)

all pictures are from the internet

The forest was cool and misty.  Bravely the boy decided to keep going as long as there was light.  As the evening shadows lengthened and the dappled sunlight played hide and seek with the tree boughs, the boy decided to find a cozy spot to lie down for the night.  He was of slight built and a dry hollow tree would easily do for him.  He gave a sweeping glance all around when suddenly the ground under his feet caved in and he was dragged underground.  Wildly he tried to hang on to the undergrowth but was sucked into the earth and the ground closed up after him. 

The boy came to after what seemed an eon.  He found himself resting on a soft bed and his sister lovingly hovering over him with eyes full of love.  His eyes opened wide and then his heart stopped.  His sister’s eyes were sorrowful.  He hugged her tight and asked about her sadness.  She replied that she missed him terribly and even though she longed to be with him she had been given another task on the other side of the world.  There was another orphan baby who needed her.  She had been allowed one night with him before leaving.  The boy requested his sister to tell him another story.  The sister agreed and said listen:

There was a small family consisting of a young doctor Sam Souza and his wife Mona who was a busy interior designer.  They had a seven year old son Robin.   They loved him dearly and as they were busy career people, they had asked the boy’s maternal grandmother to come and stay with them.  This way the boy would not be lonely and they would not be worried either.  They also bought a small dog, a beagle named “Goofy” for their son Robin.  Robin loved his granny dearly and the pet dog put him on seventh heaven.  Both the dog and child were inseparable.  They did everything together.  Only when the boy was in school, “Goofy’ kept vigil by the window and bounded out even when Robin was a mile away from home. 

One day, while playing in the schoolyard, a bully pushed Robin hard and he fell and suffered concussion.  At once the principal called Dr. Souza to come and get him.  In the meantime, the school nurse did her best to look after Robin who was as white as a sheet.  The bully too was feeling bad for a change.  Also the principal had made him do 200 sit ups holding both his ears in front of the school.  Everyone had jeered at him but he finished his punishment full of regret. 

Robin stayed home for two days.   Now boys will be boys and he was a bundle of energy and asked granny if he could play outside with Goofy.  Granny agreed and both went out with a ball.  They played catch for a while and then the next ball went further than intended and Robin asked Goofy to fetch.  Goofy loped off quickly.  Robin waited for him to come back but he only heard a tiny squeal and then there was silence.  He ran towards the trees where the ball had landed and to his horror he saw a python slithering away and by the lump in its body, it appeared that it had swallowed poor Goofy.  Robin was horrified, scared and then tearful.  He ran home shouting granny grannyyyyy!  Granny came running out with his dad Sam who had just come home to check on his son.  Tearfully between sobs Robin told them that a python had eaten his beloved Goofy.  They had no reason not to believe the boy who was above average in intelligence.  Also he could identify animals from a very young age.  Dr. Sam called the forest department and reported the incident.  He was informed that indeed a python had escaped from its enclosure from the nearby zoo and they had been searching for it whole morning. 

Robin was sad and missed Goofy terribly.  His parents wanted to get him another puppy but he was not ready.  They decided to leave him alone with his grief.  In the evenings after school Robin would play alone with the ball hitting it on the back wall of the house and catching it.  He was missing “goofy” and in a fit of anger he hit the ball hard and it went farther then he had intended down the road.  He ran to fetch it when suddenly all hell broke lose.  A car came swerving and would have hit the boy but for the dog that came flying out of nowhere and pushed Robin out of harm’s way!   As Robin got up and dusted himself he saw “Goofy’ vanishing into thin air.  His heart leapt in joy.  Goofy had saved him.  In the meantime the angry car driver came to him and shook him.  He told him to never do that in future.  He advised that Robin should always look in both directions before crossing the road.  If the dog had not saved him, he would’ve lost his life today.  Then he enquired about Dr. Souza.  He had important documents for him. Robin took the stranger home who told all present the miraculous escape of Robin and the wonder dog.  

Everyone was stunned. They informed the insurance agent that the dog had died a month ago!  He was shocked to learn this bit of news. 
He described the dog in detail and now they were certain that Goofy had returned from dead to save Robin’s life.

Note: Animal ghosts — or phantimals — even those of dinosaurs can be seen at certain locations that have a terrible history,  it seems as though there may be a sort of “warp” or portal where apparitions can more easily materialize

 Trumpets heralded the arrival of the king and the royal session began.  Gopal was presented to the king.  The king was impressed by the bearing of this cowherd.  He carried himself with confidence.  The king put forth the three questions to him:

 
How will you take care of my daughter?  Gopal said, “Your highness I will care for your daughter in the same way as I care for my parents whom I love dearly”.
 
How will you keep her happy?  “I will try my best to keep her happy, your highness.  That is all I can promise”.
 
 
How will you keep her from harm?  Gopal replied, “Birth and death are in the hands of God.  I will try my utmost to care for her.  I cannot promise more than that.  Rest is in God’s hands”.
 
 
The king was very happy with Gopal’s answers and decided to marry his daughter to him.  After ensuring that he was not offending Gopal’s parents, he had a nice home built where Gopal had his old home so that his daughter could be comfortable.   Gopal and his parents accepted all this grudgingly as they were proud people and mindful of their self respect and dignity.  As per Gopal’s wishes, the king had a simple marriage celebration and bid a tearful farewell to his daughter.  The queen was happy as she had fallen under the spell of Gopal.  She knew her daughter was in good hands.
 
 
Gopal saw his wife Survarna for the first time on his wedding night and was mesmerized by her great beauty and childlike simplicity.  He fell in love with her.  Suvarna too liked this simple cowherd and was crazy about his flute.  She would begin to sway to his music as though under a spell.  There was only one problem in their happy married life.  Suvarna could not talk!! Try as she might no words would emerge from her lovely mouth.  All her life she had been given everything on a platter even before she uttered a word.  Gopal was grief stricken.  He decided to find a cure for his beloved wife.
 
 
Exactly a year ago this day.

  
 
Gopal was as usual lost in his flute playing and was unaware of his surroundings.  Suddenly, an old monk had appeared out of nowhere and asked for food.  Gopal had  emerged from his reverie and had offered his lunch pack with due respect.  The holy man ate the simple fare with great enjoyment.  After he had enjoyed the last morsel and drunk the buttermilk, he had suddenly changed in appearance.  He transformed himself to the Indian god Shiva.  He now had a tiger skin around his torso, a snake around his neck, matted hair, and a trident in one hand.  He was astride a magnificent bull.  Gopal was wonderstruck and quickly lay down flat on the ground to pay his respects in the Hindu way.  The lord was very pleased with his simplicity and had asked Gopal if he desired anything from him.     Gopal said Lord I have everything I need.  All I need is your blessings for my friends and family.  The lord was very pleased with this answer and had then given him a holy chant of seven words.  He said, “every time you chant these words, a gold pot would appear out of thin air with whatever food you desire and it would not empty until you have fed your family.  Then it would disappear”.  Lord Shiva next said, “ Gopal you have to make a solemn promise to never reveal the secret about this divine boon”.  Gopal had promised the lord accordingly.  As Gopal had fed the lord with his lunch selflessly God had rewarded his act of kindness.  Gopal’s family had never slept hungry from that day onwards.
 
 
Gopal had only one thought in mind.  He wanted to gift his lovely wife with a stream of words.  His mind was in a whirl.  Suddenly he had a brilliant idea.  He went to a secluded spot on the nearby hill and prayed to Lord Shiva fervently.  He asked for the lord’s blessing in his efforts to make his wife speak and sing. Next he chanted the sacred words and the golden pot appeared.  He wished the pot to be full of sweet fragrant words.  He opened his eyes and found the magical gold pot full of alphabet soup with all kinds of glorious words floating in it.  It appeared to be a healthy vegetable broth.  He quickly took it home and made Suvarna drink it to the last drop.  When the soup was finished, the golden pot disappeared and she fell into a deep sleep. 
 
 
Next morning, Survarna woke up with a lot of excitement.  She felt on top of the world and wanted to sing.  She opened her mouth and out came a beautiful melody never heard before.  The old parents and Gopal himself were enchanted.  They quietly they let Suvarna sing to her heart’s content and rejoiced.  Their cup of happiness overflowed.
Gopal sent a letter to the King and requested him to hold a musical competition in exactly a week’s time.  He next prepared Suvarna with all the songs he knew.  He played the flute and she sang the songs in accompaniment.  Together they created magic.  They were ready. 
The following week, Gopal and his family donned their best clothes and boarded the horse drawn carriage which the king had gifted his daughter.  It was pulled by a pair of   finest Arabian horses this side of the mountains.  They were at the palace gates in no time.  The king and queen were waiting at the entrance and with great fanfare and pomp escorted them to the main hall. The nobles and citizens of Sonakpore were already seated.  Gopal, Suvarna and his parents were seated next to the king and queen and the evening began.  All the known artists, maestros, singers, musicians presented their items.  The hall echoed with “bravo” and thundering claps in appreciation.  Now it was Gopal’s turn.  Gently he helped Suvarna to her feet and together they stood in front of the audience.
Gopal removed his flute from his belt and started playing.  Suvarna soon opened her lips and sang along.  Her voice was crystal clear and pure.  She poured her all into it and the king and queen were beside themselves with joy.  They had been as much in the dark about this miracle as the townspeople.  Everyone was on their feet clapping and weeping in happiness.  There was no question about the winner.  The king named his daughter
The Nightingale of Sonakpur.  He kissed Gopal on his forehead in gratitude.  The queen always knew things would turn out well in the end as she had implicit faith in god.

**   ***  **

Hastily I made a few hushed phone calls and sent out a check after filling out the forms online and hit the send button.  Now I can relax and smile as usual.

***   ***  ***

My flight was ready for boarding and armed with the latest bestseller and my adorable Lord Krishna statue in my handbag, I boarded the plane.

***   ***  ***

Having opted for a window seat, I made myself comfortable and got snug in a blanket ready to doze off.  I do not know how long I was out but when I woke up the atmosphere in the plane had changed drastically.  I could smell fear!!  I nudged my neighbor and mimed whatsup??   She whispered that our plane had been hijacked by an obscure Jihadi faction from Afghanistan.  I was stunned as after 9/11 disaster the security at New York airports had been beefed up.   It seemed as though my premonition was coming true.

***  ***  ***

Ali and Mahmud Khan were born and bred in USA.   Their father Ali Khan senior had migrated from Afghanistan 40 years ago seeking asylum.  Both brothers along with regular studies learnt Arabic and recited holy Koran to their father daily.  The head of their mosque Mullah Hasan was Ali Sr.’s friend and hence they took it all in their stride.  They loved USA. The family ran a grocery store carrying both Afghani goods, and regular fare.  They had a good livelihood and lived in a modest home with a good school.  Then it all changed one day. 

***   ***   ***

Ali and Mahmud were euphoric after the hard won base ball game.

“Yah Allah, something is terribly wrong bro!..  Stop swinging the bat Ali, see there are cops outside our home.  Gran and mom  are weeping.  Oh God!! What is wrong??”

Running hard they arrive home and find out that Ali Sr. their dad has been shot dead and anti Moslem graffiti had been sprayed in their store warning them to go back to their country.  They are shocked.

“We are Americans by birth and this is our country too!”

The local police captain assures them that the culprits would be apprehended soon and brought to justice.  They are given police protection.

***   ***   ***

Today I Mullah Hasan  must offer special prayer to atone for my deed. I had to  sacrifice my best friend Ali as collateral damage.  The cause is bigger than all of us and hence justified.   Ali Jr.and Mahmud  will now willingly come into the fold.  This shock would be the catalyst.  AND Here they come!  I must channel their anger towards the bigger cause and hook them fully.  I will now give them enough funds to look after their womenfolk and put THE Plan to action.

***   ***   ***

Special agent McMillan was traveling to India incognito to meet a Mossad and an Indian RAW agent to firm up plans for setting up the special cell to be embedded in Afghanistan for intelligence gathering.  He was carrying a coded list of Afghani  recruits for personal handover.

“Father I have some important new for you.  At the gold club I overhead that that golfer McMillan is not a banker at all but an Military Intelligence agent!! His boss was giving him instructions. McMillan is traveling by Air India to Delhi  carrying a coded list of Afghani agents!”

Mullah’s son was a waiter in the golf club where McMillan had met his boss and had inadvertently heard it all whilst laying the table in the adjacent booth.  He repeated this information to his father who immediately put a plan in motion to acquire the list.  Ali and Mahmud were smart and would break the code easily.  But first they had to feel committed to his cause.  Hence he sacrificed Ali Sr.. 

***   ****  ***

 Oh Krishna!! Am I finally going to meet you??  These clever Jihadi’s between the two of them have cleverly managed to smuggle on board an unassembled special plastic gun and now after putting it together they have hijacked the plane.  They have taken as hostage a banker named McMillan and are demanding ten million in ransom plus safe landing in Kabul instead of Delhi.   They have already wounded the co-pilot and one of the first class stewards in a scuffle.

***   ***   ***

The plane is over the Arabian Sea and begins gradual descent.  Suddenly the plane loses both engines and control due to bird hits.  It plunges to a watery grave.

**   ***  ***

McMillan and the Jihadi’s are floating on same flotsam! Death is a great equalizer.

Mira is clutching her Krishna and has a smile on her face.  Even though her fear of water is vindicated, the insurance policy she took out before boarding will amply provide for her family for a long time!!

(ps: this is pure fiction: was poking fun at my fears!!