Poems Archive for Contemplative:

Eclipsed Love

Unfathomed
heart’s landscapes
have
fathoms deep
pockets
covertly bearing
fragile wishes
kicking heels
unquenched
never
aborted
~
your carelessly flung words
cut sharp and clean as do
unerring knife of a sou chef
and my foolish heart
inside my fragile bookworm body
ached in pain and grief insecure
under twilight of hurtful barrages
clueless about true intent
of your catapulted words
as you never tired of telling me
I was your least favorite ….
my dark color and intractability
riled you so…
truth is…
I cared less about your ferocious
love ….
more about your veiled
oft repeated threats….
ergo constantly vigilant
light footed I stayed out of
the range of the gimlets
framing your bird of prey
eyes and I wondered
about the gentle loving
twosome who’d spawned
such a scary she devil

guess some are born
full of bile and venom
that’s sparingly and
surreptitiously
bug sprayed
on chosen few…
and how I
longed to be ordinary
self effacing…
out of spotlight
of your almond shaped
beautiful eyes

Now full of regret
I sigh at my childishness
and your inability to seek
love and attention without
resorting to lashing out. …alienating
further those who could’ve also truly
loved you as they did us….
you were so incredibly
well versed and talented
lovely in form
easy on eyes
with merely
one major flaw
your incontrollable
temper
instantly transforming
you into a shrew
needing herculean
anger management

Now
at the cusp
of my
waning life
I forgive you
also
seek
your forgiveness
attempting
to mend
my life’s fences
at fag end
prior
to
Finale’s
flourish

sudden qualms

watching
unfair
weather
forecasting
flurries
today
heart longs
even lub a dubbing ….
days chugging
evenly
palms cupping
softly cradling
not wringing
and
I wonder
about my
customary
missing in action
sunny side
..

should
I
consider
smudging
sage
brushing
worry
beading
as
I
feel
inexplicably
goose-fleshy
chilled

seems as if we are overdue in Her Grace

reworked : Hodgepodge

..

Spaghetti mind’s
annoying gravel continues
unraveling gray matter from head

Collages of past present
Future flash as movie trailers
Unhinging further

I stand at edge fascinated
At one with the koi attempting
To steal a schmear of iridescence

Sometimes psychedelic experiences
Occur involuntarily…life providing
out of body hallucinations

Getting a handle on myself Is hard
nowadays I flounder …in mind
penitently self flagellating

Welts and wallops will heal
But a lost found spaghetti mind
Is a slip sliding scaling

Currently I am lonely in crowds
Crowds seem lonely planets to me
hastily I take refuge in inner shrine

Nothing is real actually…body
mind are perishable.. will cease to be
other than inner flame’s glow

Gathering self to self…I slow roast
A khidgeree* of body mind ..as peace
offering “shraadha” to my soul

Hoping to be no longer lonely
Firmly friending inner “essence”
for better handling this life “unreal”

..
photo: Plitvice Lakes National Park Croatia. Plitvice Lakes National Park was added to the UNESCO World Heritage register.

*Kedgeree (“Khidgeree”) originated in India as a rice-and-bean or rice-and-lentil dish… Khichri (or Pongal) can betraced back to 1340 or earlier

**shraadha : serene commitment

 

nocturnal

Day delivered
Lesions throb
Night’s skin

..
Skin spread
Across body
Thick thin

..
Thin patience
Cries in sleep
Before petering

..
Out of school
Tales told cued in
By dried saline lines

Tears restrained
In light of day held
By deadpan face

Face at night
Allowed to fall
slacken jaw

Jaw(ing) about palm’s
Played out lifeline
Fortune’s spottiness

Nocturnally
Living life true
In own skin

..

bookending promises

sacred covenant made
to self
i daintily step ..side step
forwards..retreat
move …nowadays
in life
..
there’s no shame
in retreating when wrong..
..
words can tickle core
when dressed in touching
chords triggering vein bursts
in response of emotional
debris lining insides
why do I tend
to return where it all began
my beginnings …not the very
first ones but when glimmerings
of cognition and retention
sinews and ligaments firmed
mind’s bones
..
have ceased picking bones with life
and past as such ….having made
peace with what swept away under
my to-date span of life … balance I continue
to balance
disallowing
disavowing
whatever topples
serenity
..
my little blue beloved
continues to guide
besides…
am blessed
this way
and have
so many to thank for..
the harsh ones and
strident ones and those quick
with fisticuffs… have survived
and thrived despite of…
I’ve forgiven you
you forgive me
let’s move on
and that is what happens
when words touch…
cut to flesh, needle
bones… I
wheedle
woo
life
..

Next Page »