Poems Archive for Family:

catharsis

these days
mind processes
hand dealt
by life solely
calling spade
spade
..
you unleashed
your frustration
at unfair hand
dealt by life
on my innocent
head that was
..
so ill-equipped
being constantly
lost in clouds
folded cozily
inside juicy
books
..
my brown cheeks
still redden
in these ripe years
in retrospect ..feeling
more outraged than smarting
at sting of contact
..
I try so hard
to forgive being
a work in progress
but how do I tackle
forty-five years of insomnia
your ultimate Damocles gift
..
you’d vowed to carry
me away from home
leaving me far far away
from where I could never
return and gullible me never
shut eyes for 45 years
..
I take scales
out of my quiver
honestly weighing
all the good and harm
meted and come away
disquieted ..failing to forgive
..
you’ve been gone
many years
I do miss you
as most relationships
are complicated: an admix
of bitter Neem sweet mango
,,
I console myself saying maybe your
harshness had stiffened my spine
a contrary bookworm wild child
making me a strong person
that I now am.. but why does
it still bewilder and hurt ?
I want to square
away all my accounts
owing nothing to anyone
yet feelings and emotions
are hard to oust when they
indelibly scar heart
..
I haven’t given up yet !
..

and then he left…

after sticking for years
like super glue
one day he upped
and left
his body lay supine
mind wandered elsewhere
I ran to check his toiletries
in the bathroom
all were there
even the toothbrush
was moist
only he’d left
without leaving…
non-plussed
I kept plucking
petals singly
mouthing “he loves
me, he loves
me not”
till time us both
forgot
..

genes

as i slowly ease my chills
inside thermal warmth of a much flogged
sweater .. as if by rote I involuntarily nuzzle it’s velvety
fur with my sleep warmed cheek
……..

meanwhile
alert head continues romancing words
nuancing emotions in such a way that outcome
is more a broth than a heady brew

nothing is written in concrete.. read it somewhere
why Oh why must this heart breezily continue hoping
for happy days when lies stay lies, truths, truths
life is now a bewildering witches brew….
….
and
one wonders at god’s peculiar
sense of humor…
sanity having taken back seat
steering being in hands of a misfit…..

an old adage goes
in a country of sightless, one-eyed is king
I pray for return of days when irrefutable logic ruled
and everybody could fearlessly sing…

longing for uncomplicated days and
above all sight of my beloved mom
with a gentle serene face
full of grace

I
hungrily
go and look for her in the mirror
dad lovingly smiles back

still
she occupies my heart
and will stay there
till I too depart

Face Off ? on?

how do I face
self in mirrored
appearances ?
90% dead ringer
of dear departed
dad, siblings
sighs escape
from parted lips
involuntarily
I share
what makes
me tick
schtick, tickles
of mind, spirit
heart’s cockles
cackling
on daily basis
I awl scalpel ego
crimson persona
obdurate rotund form
continue face-offs
wooing
beloved is ongoing
par for the course
..
never off course
am DNA’ed
thus

you, me, us

we wear
us as one
togetherness….
in our individual
uniqueness

you bring unstated
love to our table
I ..my headlong
gushes warmly
gurgling, uber tactile

thus we spend
our sunset years
feet dangling
at eternity’s ledge
when at rest

two vagabonds
full of restlessness
in soul, unbridled
curiosity to world
at large rove

bitten by cabin fever
more times than not
we psyche our beaten
bones to “man up”
ready, steady go!

thus we neither bide
time nor grim reaper
thumbing our noses
at both, tweaking
theirs instead….

love is love
it dons shape
per individual
forms..our moulds
were possibly thrown!

we wear
us as one
togetherness..
in our individual
uniqueness
..

 

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