Mom

Mother’s Day Gift

Miscarriage (of justice?)

Miscarriage
(of justice?)  

This mother’s day
I weep for my unborn
For the deep longing

Preceding
My giddy
In the face-
Joy

Preceding
Your miscarriage

Then

The razor
Sharp plunge
Into an abyss
Of deep depression

The Awful gaping
Wound
Still active
after you
Left

My Judas body’s
Rejection
Seemed like
Your rejection
My baby
and
loss
Incalculable

Then began

An endless string
Of sleepless
Nights
when I wept
Rivers

aching
To hold
you in
My bereft arms
To rock you
To sleep

Singing
Sweet
Lullabies
Prepared
By me
Early on

But you left

And
then

You came
My baby
Peopling
My dreams
Nightly
Calling me “ma”

and

when I opened
My arms wide
I found
You gone
punishing me
yet again

The pain of your loss
Left a gaping crater
In my heart
That will heal
Only when I am
Gone

You were the flesh
Of my flesh
and then
You became
ash
my dream
Sawdust

I still
grieve
for you
baby, my
son/daughter
unborn
~
*image is from google

Sacred Font (for mom)

Sacred Font (for mom)

Words elude as I try to pry them
Loose-from mind’s wall,  stream-
Lining them for a justifiable fit

Reverence mingles as tears well for a soul
That was so gentle and loving, a mighty
Heart that touched countless many

A mother of three yet unworldly, innocent
Gullible to a fault, often taken for a ride
By smooth talking strangers, friends

Nothing sullied her faith in human goodness
She believed in sharing whatever she had freely
With whosoever knocked on our door~ daily, nightly

Implicit faith made her tiny stature seem tall, she only
Wore immaculate starched white saris and unabashedly
Sang in gatherings-rather out of tune, her voice quivering

Folks smiled and let her be without saying a word
Making us feel as if she was their beloved child and
Not their friend or neighbor~ such was her sacred aura

Our rebellious ways she controlled with welling
Eyes making us feel like heels and quickly we caved
Behaving just as she expected without letting her down

Afflicted early in life, she managed herself with dignity
Never weeping or giving in, always carrying herself
With infinite grace and courage living life on own terms

Once due to cancelled trains I was helplessly caught in a human
Stampede, her non-stop prayers brought me home unharmed with not
A single hair out of place, nor any body part broken, miraculously

One day she decided to call it quits and gave up on life
The malady she had beaten returned after a score of years
Not prepared to suffer once again, she chose to live no more

Willing herself to die- she let go of her life surrounded by
All her friends, distant and close kin –after seeking forgiveness
From each and everyone thus reconciling her ledger of life

The night vigil is one I will remember to my dying day, as we bid
Godspeed to her departing soul –the image of her deity became her face
As wonderstruck we beheld this sight, happy she was finally home

Freeze Frame

Freeze framed

Tongue tied
stuck
in its bed
out of surfeit
of emotion
Fast dehydrating,
knotting belly
acute keening
running
Out of proper
adequate
Empathetic
expression
Of grief
of body blow
a loss so
Unbearable
in deliverance
That is
not
~

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