Archive for autobiographical:

Journaling…the healer

Yesterday I saw the Hindi movie Shirdi Sai Baba with Sudhir Dalvi once again and saw how Baba absorbed and transferred all the pain and sickness onto his own frail person … It immediately reminded me of our Dajiba who came into our lives when I was merely five six years old … he was godsend to complement our otherworldly mom …I firmly believe…
Dajiba, claimed that divinity manifested in his body with such strength that he could cure with his vibrant touch on forehead. Usually after an hour of prayer to his Divine Power he was ready for healing …How many of the gathered throngs he cured is anybody’s guess as I’ve seen x-rays change from bad to crystal clear after his healing sessions…..
Dajiba transferred upon his slender self my numerous childhood fevers and nosebleeds that I was stricken with due to poor health bad tonsils etc.. He declared that he was stronger than me and could weather them fine. I never questioned it & ran off to play while he writhed in pain for a good while as mom plied him with numerous cups of ginger tea cookies etc… Later it was impressed upon me by a family elder that I should have borne this “karma” myself and not allowed another to physically suffer on my behalf. …understanding that I stopped Dajiba from healing me henceforth…
He exited from our lives when mom left us… . It’d created an abyss like void in my life especially as both my siblings were already married … now dad and myself were by ourselves ….In retrospect come to think of it- maybe mom and Dajiba knew one another from previous lives – Dajiba was a god gifted shaman, a witch doctor or a Christian divine healer with a unique healing touch …. hence this correlation with Sai Baba even though Dajiba was no divine reincarnation like Shirdi Sai Baba…
..Healing hands…
Soft feathery strokes Dancing in air Soothing calming Sucking pain Undulating endlessly Hands mesmerizing Rhythmically in motion Arms cocooning Embracing bracing Intermittently crooning Exuding grace Quietening mind Relaxing stricken Absorbing grief …Healing energy waves Encircle, succor Sick in body, mind Pain slowly dissipates Gradually evaporating healing energy enters Filling void Soft feathery strokes Dancing in air.. Soothing calming Sucking all pain Undulating endlessly Hands mesmerizing Rhythmically in motion
Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity. – Hippocrates
With the gift of listening comes the gift of healing…. Catherine de Hueck
Sickness & healing are in every heart; death & deliverance in every hand ~O.Scott Card (1951), Speaker for the Dead
image : google

journaling…telepathic connect…

I’ve been meaning to write about this inexplicable longing to reconnect with a dear friend whom I’d lost touch with since we left Bombay in 1972
….this acute longing suddenly occurred about a month or so ago quite inexplicably and was stridently persistent …so much so that finally to appease the voices in my head and heart … I scoured Facebook with possible name matches etc. hopefully relying on my erring memory
..Luckily I found my friend’s two brothers on Facebook … their dad being a famous much respected lyricist from the golden period of Hindi cinema from yesteryears …
I sent them private messages asking the whereabouts of their sister…
no response for a few weeks… I was feeling rather forlorn and down in the mouth and then suddenly I got a reply from one of them..
He gave me the info I needed and I was immediately in touch with this dear friend from college days… we’d had some great times together and were quite close …
oddly enough my friend Adarsh name Pappu was also remembering me as longingly as I was …it was definitely a Telepathic connect ..otherwise why would I remember her out of the blue after 45 odd years?
strange coincidence to say the least ..we have this saying in Hindi “ dil ko dil ki raaah mil hi jaati hai” meaning heart finds it’s own way eventually …
After connecting over the phone via WhatsApp the first words of a very petulant Pappu angrily came at me were :
“where the hell did you disappear to” I cherish her anger as she cares as deeply as me … and then we filled in the gaps of our separation in retelling and I was deliriously happy ..
one thing that she said repetitiously was how she’d visited our home out of the blue without prior messaging and had met our gentle otherworldly mom ..whom she still remembers distinctly…
.. I think she merely reaffirmed what everyone has said to me so far ..about mom being a very gentle and pure soul.. and I simply miss mom so… to this date..
footnote: I received another message from Pappu’s brother saying “She was really happy to speak to you. Was so animated as she described ur meetings” …
mysterious are the ways of nature.. telepathy and love… Thank you Facebook…images: google

rainy August 4 2017

Memories reminisces
Add zest and spices
To these dog days
of summer not very nice
Sepia smudgy photos
Keep turning up ~ misty
eyed I hungrily stare …
heart squelches in toto
Such is weft
of love loomed


painting: Van Gogh


you silly one
you are simply an organ
crazily beating
often missing beats
going out of sync

go on head
laugh at me
yet love is
what keeps
me going
you are overly
lathered by love
but tis both your saving
grace and downfall
I know ‘cos when I
love..I give it my all
taking a leap
of faith diving

see where it’s gotten
you ..sore of heart ..bruised?
concede ..consult me first
before you go into further forays
driven by foolish rushes
uh huh…not happening
so what if am tad hurt
licking bloody’ll
heal …but this heart will
never ever come to heel !
Go on hoist
on petard of your own making
henceforth never come crying to me
when bruised ..cold shouldered..know
world is not what your heart feels
fine… agreed
let me love, fail, love again
get mauled .. tis a reward in itself
my love rivers at will and fear
of hurts will never cause it’s still
let’s part in peace
residing as we do in same beat up worry over your own topper
I’ll nurse and console myself by myself
solely recalling exhilarating peaks

image: google


I form your name
in my mouth ..rolling
it over my tongue
wan feeling of loss
around mind
wistfully long
for bygone wonder
years …
scintillating memory
pebbles burnished
by midday sun
swirling shape
conjured out
of time’s bottle
sees me running
full tilt heeding
your daily
tiny fists exchanged coins
for your mouthwatering
baked rolls and buns
dusted by powdered sugar
I bit into impatiently and the white
mustache that formed on my face
made us both gurgle delightedly
Kabuliwala: your name spelled
exotic spices, green almonds
sundry dry fruits especially apricots
“khumaanis” and my tiny mouth
would drool all over again while mom
cherished guchhi, Dingri for concocting
delicious rice pulao filled with dry-fruits
your crooned songs
mixed with old Hindi songs
still steal into heart, mind
in pensive moments
making me homesick
all over again as eyes
involuntarily river
old Silk route, Khyber
Pass, Hindukusch mountains
hold a firm sway over this vagabond
heart roaming ancient soils, pausing
in time stilled old modern caravanserai
hotels, motels sleuthing clues on treasure
maps aching to arrive: where it all began
**wild, rare nutritional fungi crop known for its medicinal value. Guchhi, or morchella esculenta, a mushroom variety *Dingri is dried mushroom also called Kumbh
images are from google only

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